If You Want A Friend, Be A Friend
Dear Southport Congregational Church,
It seems like we just celebrated the end of the church program year in the backyard of the parsonage, but "back-to-school" items are already being displayed in stores, and the first day of school is just around the corner.
As another academic year is beginning (Simon starts 3rd Grade and Winnie begins 1st Grade) my own memories of elementary school are coming to the surface. Memories of sack lunches and recess twice a day. Memories of book reports and science projects. Memories of dodgeball and dear friends.
I attended Lakeview Elementary on the southside of Holland, MI. Lakeview no longer exists; it first transitioned into a park, but it’s transitioned again into a housing development where driveways sit on what was once the playground. I can remember sitting on the carpet square in the gym (which also tripled as the cafeteria and auditorium). I can remember singing our school song led by our music teacher, Mrs. Vanderwall. I remember my teachers and our field trips, but what I remember most are those first days of a new year.
I remember anticipating the day when our classroom roster would be posted on the doors of Lakeview. As we’d wait for that day, I can remember asking my mom, “do you think I’ll have any friends in my class this year?” I can then remember her telling my older brothers and I: “If you want a friend, be a friend.” This simple phrase has stuck with me all my life. It’s profoundly simple and yet profoundly true. If you want a friend, be a friend. The only downfall to this phrase is that we unfortunately limit its’ truth and practice to school children. We tell our young students to share with others, be kind, play nice, and make room at the lunch table because that’s how you make friends. Unfortunately, many of us don’t take this same mindset and posture into adulthood. But if you want a friend, be a friend.
Imagine what might happen if all of us embodied this truth. I’d imagine each and every one of us desires to be included and invited, yet I’d also imagine many of us are waiting for the invitation. This potentially means that we are all silently waiting for an invitation, yet no one is taking the initiative to send an invitation. But what if we were those people to take the initiative to make a friend? What if we were willing to risk it? What if you were willing to invite someone for coffee or lunch with no agenda other than spending time with them and getting to know them? What if you invited a friend to worship on Welcome Sunday, September 13? What if you invited a friend to men’s group or women’s group? What if you invited a friend to sing in the choir or serve alongside our mission and outreach team?
Friends are deeply important and deeply biblical. Go read Romans 16 sometime; the entire chapter is a testament to the importance of friends. We know this to be true for our children and grandchildren, but for some reason we don’t adopt this truth for ourselves. But if you want a friend, be a friend.
I know this has the possibility to cause anxiety and stress for some, but the alternative of slowly fading into an even more individualistic society where bathtubs are deeper than relationships is just as stressful. I hope and pray that Southport can be a place where relationships are formed, initiative is taken, and invitations are offered… because if you want a friend, be a friend.
Grace & Peace,
Rev. Dr. Mark Waterstone